family: why won't you come with us?
me: there must always be a stark at winterfell

xiii-wings:

xiii-wings:

buttcramps:

is there anything weirder than waking up after a dream and all the details are still fresh in your mind so you’re just like what the FUCK WAS THAT WHY DID I THINK THAT WAS NORMAL HOW DID DREAM ME NOT QUESTION THAT

I once had a dream in which someone asked me “how can you tell this isn’t a dream” and I was like, “of course it’s not a dream: I have four hands”

THE REASON I GAVE FOR THINKING THIS DREAM WAS REALITY WAS THE FACT I HAD TWO EXTRA HANDS

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(via awakenlinkyourtimehascome)


do ur squats
eat ur vegetables
wear red lipstick
dont let boys be mean to u

(Source: honky-tonk-badonk-adonk, via viagrah)

dianeraeb:

siriuus:

do action movies know they can have more than one female character

Someone should make an action movie with all girls except for one guy and have no explanation or mention of it in the movie and then pay all of the actors to act surprised like they’d never noticed when they get the inevitable storm of questions. 

(via deanbean-and-samjam)

my parents let me fly to seattle to stay at my friend’s house for a weekend and I’m so endlessly grateful I love him so much and we had so much fun and his family is great. I don’t want to leave though I probably won’t see him again until July 21. There are tears in the airport

turkey-imported-from-maine:

firelorcl:

meladoodle:

i wanna be a reverse tooth fairy where i rob people and then scatter human teeth on their bed

a dentist

i dont know what your dentist is doing to you but i think you need to go to the police

(via the-radioinmyhead)

toastdurr:

fairyspork:

floptart:

ass2007:

im so glad my boyfriends penis is 2 bread lengths long (:

image

Who the fuck measures dick size in bread

(via nuwandaisatimelord)

You can call me Lizzie McGuire
I'm awkward and I cry a lot. I'm also funny like 2% of the time
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